Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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