I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize