Don't you send me to vm
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
