It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
