I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize