Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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