There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
