dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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