Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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