I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Randomize
