she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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