He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
