Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think my fart just growled at me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize