I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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