Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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