So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I touched a dick in church today
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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