I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
