If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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