you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize