I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
