I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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