Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize