You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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