return my video game
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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