You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
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Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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