who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
