just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
