out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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