It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
