I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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