Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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