your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
