I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
