Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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