cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize