Can Purell be used as lube?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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