So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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