Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Im part way to drunk.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
