Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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