I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
