Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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