Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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