They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
