Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
