My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
