I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
