oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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