Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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