So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize