so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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