Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
