I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
