you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize