can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
