You just made me feel so damn special
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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