I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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