Plan B is the new Plan A
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
