it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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